Eating posion ivy

In 18 days I will be married. It is the most craziest thought that all of my life, I have wondered if I would marry, who I would marry if I did marry, when I would find the friend and partner who would choose to journey with me. Not only have I found this incredible friend, but he is truly the best gift ever. Now supposedly, if you are reading this and you have been married for some time you may read this and think, "She'll change her mind later," or "Give her a few years and she'll sing a different tune" but to you I say, "Nope. Not a chance".

I am daring to hope that this journey with Dave is the best gift and will continue to be the most amazing adventure I will embark on in this life. Our friendship and respect for one another will grow with time. We will learn how to care well for one another and this cycle of care/understanding and deep connection will only deepen. This is my firm belief and will be my constant hope.

You see I have already run through all potential scenes in my head that would/could be potentially tragic. We could lose each other, we could perpetually misunderstand each other, we could contract a deadly disease or eat poison ivy together making our insides forever itchy and our touchy bodies unbearable. These things could happen.. really they could. But, why would I decided to let my mind think of all of the potentially disaster-ridden scenerios 3-weeks before my wedding...and counting? There is no need.

The reason I can believe without sight, and hope without knowing is because I believe we have reason to be hopeful and to always, indefinitely hope for good things, redemption, peace, reconciliation and right relationship. As someone who has experienced broken relationship or come up close with some of the ways jaded patterns in our world cause pain, it would be easy to choose this world view. And, if I am honest, it's tempting because it's way safer. It's way safer to go ahead and anticipate the bad. It's way more comforting to say, "I told you so"... "I thought this really bad thing would happen". Why? Because when this thing happens and you knew it all along, then you're right. And you feel good because you feel in control.

The funny thing is to me, it seems much harder sometimes to smile from ear to ear... grinning like a 4-year old who just got free ice cream and has it smothered all over her face...because you have a secret. That secret is hope--the deep down joy-kind. It's not the kind you hear about on the Christian TV channels and you can't buy it a book. It's the kind of hope that comes from a life lived in faith towards the One who pursues, always protects, always trusts and always, always redeems.

And so even though this is hard and part of me wants to hide the smile in my heart from the people around me so they don't judge my joy, I'm not going to give into that pressure to be in control and somber. Nope, instead I'm going to laugh, sing, run and dance in circles around the room. Really soon my family and friends are coming into town too and if I am sneaky enough I might have them dancing too... even with their little Nazarene-selves.

It is a season of celebration...yaaaaaaa!!!!!! I have chosen and he has chosen me, we shall celebrate for the next 3 weeks of planning, on the actual day and for the rest of our lives God's gift of us to each other... dancing, laughing, singing and celebrating are in order...