Waiting for the Spirit

I was sitting at my desk today reading something my dad wrote about life, faith and selfishness and I was gently reminded of my own tendency towards self-edification, self-provision, self-sustaining, self-comforting and self-decision-making (not a word, I know). It seems as much as a I value my community and those I love, when it comes down to it sometimes, it's all about me and myself. What would be best for me? What would be most enjoyable for me? What would bring me the least heartache (how can I shield myself from pain, sorrow or feeling alone?). During this season of the church year we reflect on our tendency towards self. Our desire to be the center of our own universe and we are challenged to "stop it". Stop storing away for our safety, stop being afraid of our demise and stop living in order to just not die. We(Dave and I) were reading in Acts last night about Paul traveling and being with folks who were afraid they were going to die in a storm (I kinda felt this way this week when we heard the snow storm of all time was coming and coming fast ;). In the midst of this storm, Paul brings the people God's promise but more importantly he shared his faith in the God who has been with, walked with and guided the saints. He reminded the people to "take courage". At the moment, I find myself in the midst of a storm. This one probably won't kill me but I am scared enough. Yesterday, I read the story of one of the brave persons who survived Nazi Germany and the concentration camps. The story was called "Night". What was most profound about this story, was in the midst of all this survivor was going through he was losing his faith, his hope and his belief in the Jewish way of life. Somehow, in the midst of this all, in the darkest moment, God broke in. God broke in and reminded this young man of God's presence in the midst of suffering. This brings me hope and reminds me it is God who will go with me. It is God who will show me the next step and it is God who will be present in the storm, bringing courage and hope for tomorrow. I can give up my desire to just protect myself from the next bad thing and swing open gates of my heart to the Spirit, knowing the wind will blow us into new life now and for always.